In part 1 of this article, we began our examination of drinking (and drug use; the lessons here apply equally) and that uneasy feeling some people get when they get caught up in something like a DUI or criminal charge and they realize that something about their partying behavior (like facing a drinking and driving charge) just isn’t working out the way they want. Many of my clients are people who have found the true joy of getting clean and sober and are now moving ahead toward a driver’s license restoration. On the flip side, many of my clients are people who are a million miles from having any kind of problem and just make a mistake in judgment and get a drunk driving. Others may indulge in the occasional joint and simply get caught being in possession of marijuana. Still plenty of people that I see are dealing with the consequences of alcohol (or drug) use that has gotten out of hand. While I hope a lot of people find something of use in this article, my deepest hope is to extend a hand to the person who is just beginning to open up to the idea that his or her relationship to alcohol or drugs is problematic. We don’t need to describe or label it in anymore detail than that; this is for those who simply have a feeling that something just isn’t right. In this second part, we’re picking up with the idea that quitting doesn’t really have any downside. There is no “missing out” on the fun (and how much fun has it been lately, anyway) but rather about things getting better. A lot better.
Here’s the real kicker: When a person quits drinking for good, always, and without exception, his or her life improves. On the one hand, life itself gets way better, while on the other, the storm of never ending (and self made) problems just comes to an abrupt end. As much as someone may wonder how they’ll ever have fun again without alcohol, everyone who has ever gotten sober shakes their head in regret that they didn’t do it sooner. How much fun is drinking right now? How much fun has it been recently? Is it really the grand prize of all prizes to work all week just so you can piss away an entire weekend getting wasted? Is getting drunk on Friday night really the best reward you deserve in life? When people get sober, they get genuinely happy. They look at the people in the bars at night and feel sorry for them. They’re out doing whatever, and they feel a sense of pity for those to whom another night getting toasted is their life’s goal. Sober people know they’re not missing out on anything (by contrast, they know the folks wasting their nights getting hammered are the ones really missing out), and, to a person, they all wish they would have figured this out sooner.
This is the one time in your life when you should act quickly. The biggest waste of your precious little time on this planet is to think too much about this before you act. You can easily get stuck in the paralysis of analysis, where you think about everything, but do nothing. Pick up the phone and reach out for help. Remember my questions: How much fun is drinking right now? How much fun has it been recently? Now, consider this question: What do you think is going to change, and when, that will make drinking fun and safe again? I’ll help you cheat by giving you the answer: Nothing. Not now, not later, not ever. It’s time to grow up and take control over your life. You’ll be incredibly glad that you did. You’ll get back more than you even know you lost, and you’ll move ahead like you never thought possible. Can you think of any way that not drinking will harm you? How many ways has it helped you, lately? It comes back to the fact that those uncomfortable feelings you’re having are “right.” That’s your gut; now is the time to trust it…